Best passive-aggressive responses to someone?

[The Chosen One]

When I'm clearly not interested and someone says hey isn't that _________ look cool?

My response: Cute

When someone is talking to me and my mind is wandering...

My response(s): Whattttt?!?!? Nooo wayyy. For real!?!?? Get the f--- outta herrreeee really?!

Someone telling me something I already know in an excited manner

My response: Mhm (while shaking my head).

My first job working at a country club was great, however when I first started there were some old old white guys that walk by and give me weird looks. One day one of them in particular, I said good morning Mr. Sanders how are you today? He gave me a snide look and said something under his breath and went to the locker room. I was confused. I knew when he came off the tennis courts he'd go straight to take a piss in a toilet, not a stand up stall. I knew he was coming in, I took one of the worst craps ever in my life, took the toilet paper and dropped in the floor after wiping. He came in, was cussing a fire storm and came in the office to tell me blah blah blah. I was giggling and he looked at me and asked what was so funny, I just told him Obama lied on the TV again and he laughed too.

[Julio3000]

That's really nice for you.

[The Chosen One]

That's really nice for you.

You wanna fight old man?

[Julio3000]

You wanna fight old man?

Never. I'd much rather insult you passive-aggressively.

Pro Tip for you youngsters: this strategy works great for married life.

[The Chosen One]

Never. I'd much rather insult you passive-aggressively.

Pro Tip for you youngsters: this strategy works great for married life.

What are the consequences of passive-aggressively insulting your spouse? Relegation to strictly staying in the study on the computer talking to us? <3

[BRule]

When I'm clearly not interested and someone says hey isn't that _________ look cool?

My response: Cute

When someone is talking to me and my mind is wandering...

My response(s): Whattttt?!?!? Nooo wayyy. For real!?!?? Get the f--- outta herrreeee really?!

Someone telling me something I already know in an excited manner

My response: Mhm (while shaking my head).

My first job working at a country club was great, however when I first started there were some old old white guys that walk by and give me weird looks. One day one of them in particular, I said good morning Mr. Sanders how are you today? He gave me a snide look and said something under his breath and went to the locker room. I was confused. I knew when he came off the tennis courts he'd go straight to take a piss in a toilet, not a stand up stall. I knew he was coming in, I took one of the worst craps ever in my life, took the toilet paper and dropped in the floor after wiping. He came in, was cussing a fire storm and came in the office to tell me blah blah blah. I was giggling and he looked at me and asked what was so funny, I just told him Obama lied on the TV again and he laughed too.

K

[weso1]

Sometimes I find that when I think people are thinking negative thoughts about me it's all in my head.

[weso1]

Never. I'd much rather insult you passive-aggressively.

Pro Tip for you youngsters: this strategy works great for married life.

Does everyone have to always be giving advice?

[Julio3000]

What are the consequences of passive-aggressively insulting your spouse? Relegation to strictly staying in the study on the computer talking to us? <3

I see I have nothing more to teach you.

[Julio3000]

Does everyone have to always be giving advice?

[pretends he forgot to respond to Weso's post]

[zitothebrave]

This is such a helpful thread.

[Julio3000]

I had a contractor offer to barter some plumbing and electrical work in exchange for my ordering some stuff for him. He started the work and left it half-done for weeks, at one point leaving me without a functioning bathroom and once with half of my lights out. What should have been a day or two of work ended up taking 29 days to be completed.

Being the passive-agressive blackbelt that I am, I didn't exactly jump to order his **** the moment he finished the job. After his third "have you ordered my stuff?" phone call/text, I decided that, yeah, I probably should get right on that. So I ordered it. Then, when it came in, I let it gather dust until the 29th day after the work was finished. Then I gave him a polite phone call and let him know he could pick it up any time.

[NinersSBChamps]

I feel like I could conquer the world with all the information I've learned in this thread.

[AerchAngel]

Never. I'd much rather insult you passive-aggressively.

Pro Tip for you youngsters: this strategy works great for married life.

I can vouch for that.

[DjGrizz]

I didn't know it was possible to take a passive aggressive dump

[zitothebrave]

I didn't know it was possible to take a passive aggressive dump

Ummmmmm, there's tons of passive agressive ways to take a dump. For example using the wife scenario, suppose your wife does something to delay your time going to something you want. She then asks you to say do the dishes. You casually mention you have to take a dump, grab a book, lock the door and enjoy a 20 minute dook

[The Chosen One]

That's not being passive aggressive that's going out of your way to make a point. Passive aggressive is subtle and usually you can pretend you have no idea what you were doing was wrong.

A 20 minute dump is clearly planned.

I'd say something like her asking you to microwave something for 20 seconds you do for 2:00. Can easily say you didn't know you pressed that extra 0.

[DjGrizz]

I'm just glad were getting to talk about taking dumps.

[DjGrizz]

And I took two today fwiw

[Hawk]

And I took two today fwiw

... do you usually only take one?

[zitothebrave]

That's not being passive aggressive that's going out of your way to make a point. Passive aggressive is subtle and usually you can pretend you have no idea what you were doing was wrong.

A 20 minute dump is clearly planned.

I'd say something like her asking you to microwave something for 20 seconds you do for 2:00. Can easily say you didn't know you pressed that extra 0.

You have so much to learn.