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Thread: Our OF vs. Phillies OF

  1. #1
    It's OVER 5,000! yeezus's Avatar
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    Our OF vs. Phillies OF

    I looked at them both to start the year and laughed at how inept the Phils' outfield appeared to be. Little did I know, ours would be the terrible one and theirs far more productive. How is stuff like this possible. Baseball for you.

  2. #2
    Shift Leader CyYoung31's Avatar
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    Because, no matter how hard we try, our outfield inevitably always manages to turn itself into a giant cluster****.

  3. #3
    Not Actually Brian Hunter Metaphysicist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CyYoung31 View Post
    Because, no matter how hard we try, our outfield inevitably always manages to turn itself into a giant cluster****.
    Yes, Raynold's Curse continues to this day. On the final day of the 1999 regular season, one Brian Raynold Hunter played LF for the Braves, went 1-3 with 2 BB, ending the season with a .792 OPS. But come 2000, he was cast aside and he swore that not until his heirs received what was due to them would his roster spot ever yield edible fruit. And thus it began:

    2000: Reggie Sanders
    2001: BJ Surhoff

    After two years of this plague, the Braves sought to salve this wound by moving the The Golden Chipper out to LF. But that only transferred Raynold's curse to the now vacant 3B:

    2002: SVOD
    2003: SVOD
    2004: Derosa

    The Braves relented and turned back to the natural order, but Raynold's curse lived on:

    2005: The Turmoils of Kelly Johnson, igniting era of the KJ wars
    2006: Ryan of the Long Hands
    2007: Willie "The Syrup City Savant" Harris
    2008: Greg White and the Brandon Jones Orchestra
    2009: Garrett Anderson, who definitively proved Tally (RIP) to be insane
    2010: The MelkDud.
    2011: sub .700 OPS Prado
    2012: GOOD PRADO

    We had thought it was ended, with the Prado and Minor Upton come to save us. BUT LO, the Curse of B. Raynold Hunter still haunts us, the spectre of this ghost poised to again destroy all that was once good in a baseball player. We shan't be free unless the The Raynold is restored to his rightful place in LF.

    Or at least made a Bullpen Coach or something.

  4. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Metaphysicist For This Useful Post:

    CyYoung31 (07-08-2013), Julio3000 (07-08-2013)

  5. #4
    A Chip Off the Old Rock Julio3000's Avatar
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    Instant classic.

    Like the curse of the billy goat, only drunker, and operating a motor vehicle.

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    Shift Leader CyYoung31's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metaphysicist View Post
    Yes, Raynold's Curse continues to this day. On the final day of the 1999 regular season, one Brian Raynold Hunter played LF for the Braves, went 1-3 with 2 BB, ending the season with a .792 OPS. But come 2000, he was cast aside and he swore that not until his heirs received what was due to them would his roster spot ever yield edible fruit. And thus it began:

    2000: Reggie Sanders
    2001: BJ Surhoff

    After two years of this plague, the Braves sought to salve this wound by moving the The Golden Chipper out to LF. But that only transferred Raynold's curse to the now vacant 3B:

    2002: SVOD
    2003: SVOD
    2004: Derosa

    The Braves relented and turned back to the natural order, but Raynold's curse lived on:

    2005: The Turmoils of Kelly Johnson, igniting era of the KJ wars
    2006: Ryan of the Long Hands
    2007: Willie "The Syrup City Savant" Harris
    2008: Greg White and the Brandon Jones Orchestra
    2009: Garrett Anderson, who definitively proved Tally (RIP) to be insane
    2010: The MelkDud.
    2011: sub .700 OPS Prado
    2012: GOOD PRADO

    We had thought it was ended, with the Prado and Minor Upton come to save us. BUT LO, the Curse of B. Raynold Hunter still haunts us, the spectre of this ghost poised to again destroy all that was once good in a baseball player. We shan't be free unless the The Raynold is restored to his rightful place in LF.

    Or at least made a Bullpen Coach or something.
    Wow. I always knew of the curse of Andruw Jones, but little did I know it could be traced even farther back to an even greater evil.

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