Being Male

57Brave

57Brave

Well-known member
We used to get women on this forum. Not so much any more

But since it's just us guys now, lets talk about what it is and isn't to be male
Is it family, is it strength, is mature nurtuing --- I am curious what and how others think.

I will start with this notion of what to me it isn't:


Emily L. Hauser
‏Verified account @emilylhauser
Jan 19

A big part of toxic masculinity is teaching boys to bond over the shared humiliation of people they perceive to be vulnerable.

I think we have all at one time or another found our selves in this situation.
both sides !
The giver and the taker.

Some of the most steadfast men I have met have been more effeminite than RuPaul -- but solid men on all accounts


What think you??
What is your experience ?
 
In light of the release and our limited conversations of the Esquire article I would still like to hear what others think.

Fathers what do you teach your sons
Sons - what did your fathers teach you
Brothers older and/or younger -was there bullying prevalent in your family?

Athletes - how/ what were your coaches attitudes

Military -- anyone besides my self with military experience

LGBQ --- anyone here relate and what experiences

anything else please add to it

Please be respectfull
...................................................................................

I am really curious the experiences
 
I didnt read the article. I have two sons, ages 15 and 22. They are very different. I think the friends kids make are very important. Interestingly my more quiet son has made the better and longer lasting friendships. The more gregarious one makes friends easily but sometimes they haven't been such great friendships.

I think both have had a bit of a tendency to consider girls slightly inferior. This is probably common among boys. But I think in their cases it has been curtailed by having an older sister who runs circles around them.

All three have been active in sports and I think mostly those have been very good experiences. Learning to deal with a coach you dont like etc.

I dont think most white boys grow up with a sense of entitlement. For the most part I think each generation is a little better than its predecessor in terms of attitudes about minorities, women, gays. Slow progress is the way I'd put it.

I will make the general observation that people are more stressed nowadays due to things like smart phones and social media and it is a big problem for a subset of teens.
 
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nsacpi said:
I didnt read the article. I have two sons, ages 15 and 22. They are very different. I think the friends kids make are very important. Interestingly my more quiet son has made the better and longer lasting friendships. The more gregarious one makes friends easily but sometimes they haven't been such great friendships.

I think both have had a bit of a tendency to consider girls slightly inferior. This is probably common among boys. But I think in their cases it has been curtailed by having an older sister who runs circles around them.

All three have been active in sports and I think mostly those have been very good experiences. Learning to deal with a coach you dont like etc.

I dont think most white boys grow up with a sense of entitlement. For the most part I think each generation is a little better than its predecessor in terms of attitudes about minorities, women, gays. Slow progress is the way I'd put it.

I will make the general observation that people are more stressed nowadays due to things like smart phones and social media and it is a big problem for a subset of teens.
Click to expand...

I agree with the notion of most white males don't grow up with a sense of entitlement -- because I dont think as teenagers with limited life experience it has ever dawned on them the privilege they inherited. Rich or poor. It isnt their fault they are born white or with means or with intelligence or with focus.

To my mind the rubber hits the road at 18-19. What are they reading, who are they associating with, what is their aim.
Some of that is the product of how they are reared - some in rebelling against how they were reared

I grew up in 50-60s. My coaches were all either WWII or Korean veterans. My father was a Korean vet --- feelings were not something one spoke of. Male or female.
The females rebelled by taking off their bras, demanding equal treatment. The male rebelled by avoiding the draft and military service our fathers regarded so highly.

Who knows why people are more stressed today than then.
Too much input --- too much opportunity.
But, isnt that what we all want for our kids ?

I was once trying to make a coaching point of never giving in and what that entails. Used to be fond of boxing metaphors.
This one time I asked a young man " if you are in a fight do you want to throw the 1st punch or take the first"
The kid looked puzzled --- when pressed this 16 year old boy confessed he had never been in a fight. Surveying the group, he wasn't the only one
That was the day I realized this is what we wanted for our kids, not having to fight every day.
I guess that leads to Harley Davidson themed restaurants
................

We have one son in his 40's.
seems well adjusted, but who knows these days
 
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one more:

To my mind Ms Hills tweet was referring to the post 2016 election inundation of the white male Trump voter articles.
Guess you can take it any way you like

Curious also a couple years out Trayvon Martin ---- hoodies vs MAGA hats
 
57Brave said:
I agree with the notion of most white males don't grow up with a sense of entitlement -- because I dont think as teenagers with limited life experience it has ever dawned on them the privilege they inherited. Rich or poor. It isnt their fault they are born white or with means or with intelligence or with focus.

To my mind the rubber hits the road at 18-19. What are they reading, who are they associating with, what is their aim.
Some of that is the product of how they are reared - some in rebelling against how they were reared

I grew up in 50-60s. My coaches were all either WWII or Korean veterans. My father was a Korean vet --- feelings were not something one spoke of. Male or female.
The females rebelled by taking off their bras, demanding equal treatment. The male rebelled by avoiding the draft and military service our fathers regarded so highly.

Who knows why people are more stressed today than then.
Too much input --- too much opportunity.
But, isnt that what we all want for our kids ?

I was once trying to make a coaching point of never giving in and what that entails. Used to be fond of boxing metaphors.
This one time I asked a young man " if you are in a fight do you want to throw the 1st punch or take the first"
The kid looked puzzled --- when pressed this 16 year old boy confessed he had never been in a fight. Surveying the group, he wasn't the only one
That was the day I realized this is what we wanted for our kids, not having to fight every day.
I guess that leads to Harley Davidson themed restaurants
................

We have one son in his 40's.
seems well adjusted, but who knows these days
Click to expand...

fights are still a thing...but school policies including mandatory suspensions have had an effect...as has all the security cameras that schools have nowadays
 
How you treat and feel about women is a red flag. Insecure men bully the vulnerable but these men are also secretly afraid of women, which makes their need to dominate them even worse.
 
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I'm pretty comfortable that a Male could not get away with admitting drugging people to sleep with and rob them like Cardi B is.
 
sturg33 said:
I'm pretty comfortable that a Male could not get away with admitting drugging people to sleep with and rob them like Cardi B is.
Click to expand...

Whoa, that's a bit off the mark of what was said.

Also it's worth noting that she's a rapper. Snoop was arrested and tried for murder while recording Doggystyle. Tupac had a top 200 album while he was serving jail time for sexual assault. Biggie Smalls and Jay Z glorified their days as drug dealers. This is not a world that's the same as anything else.
 
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