Julio3000
<B>A Chip Off the Old Rock</B>
Since returning from my lengthy sabbatical, I’ve been feeling out of touch, so I’ve been catching up on threads and assimilating as much information as I can in order to harmonize with the general vibe of the board these days. Alongside the usual polite and elevated discourse, collegial differences of opinion, etc., I’ve learned a few important things:
1. Everyone seems to think we need a new manager.
2. The lack of a proper forum name is to blame for the team’s current woes.
3. This board is the preeminent wellspring of Braves Thought on the internet.
Accepting 2 as fact, it stands to reason that this board is to blame for our losing record, and therefore bears responsibility for 1, the need for a new manager. If 3 is also true—and indeed, how could it not be?—there is reason to believe that it is our responsibility to suggest the best person for the job.
In light of that, I’ll get the ball rolling with a couple of names.
This rebuild started with the replacement of franchise icon Jason Heyward with Nick Markakis. Replacing a young star with an aging, less-good version of himself was the signal that this rebuilding project was serious, dammit, and that we intended to win. We exchanged a shredded greek statue of a RF with a rugged Greek statue in RF. His acquisition initiated the Mukaki rebuild, his veteran lairdership saw us through the dark times and delivered us to the playoffs. We’re floundering in the post-Neck era. The solution? Bring him back—in the dugout. It’s time to reboot the rebuild. There’s a saying in Rome: follow a fat pope with a skinny pope. Replace the easygoing players’ manager with the intense clubhouse cop. I can think of no one better than Nicky Kakes. No more selfies. No more crip-walking HR trots. No fun of any kind, in fact. One laser-beam stare from Neck will shut down the fluff and get us back to ABC baseball. Get it done, AA.
In a similar vein, we could bring back another club legend, a name that rings out in the annals of Braves history. A fiery competitor, this hero commands respect from teammates and opponents alike. He’s a former catcher—conventional wisdom being that ex-backstops make the best managers. He has a post-season track record, and both all-star and silver slugger cred. He’s a proven leader of men who was willing to put his body on the line to help his team. That’s right, folks, I’m talking about Anthony James Pierzynski.
Ok. There are a couple names on the whiteboard. What else we got?
1. Everyone seems to think we need a new manager.
2. The lack of a proper forum name is to blame for the team’s current woes.
3. This board is the preeminent wellspring of Braves Thought on the internet.
Accepting 2 as fact, it stands to reason that this board is to blame for our losing record, and therefore bears responsibility for 1, the need for a new manager. If 3 is also true—and indeed, how could it not be?—there is reason to believe that it is our responsibility to suggest the best person for the job.
In light of that, I’ll get the ball rolling with a couple of names.
This rebuild started with the replacement of franchise icon Jason Heyward with Nick Markakis. Replacing a young star with an aging, less-good version of himself was the signal that this rebuilding project was serious, dammit, and that we intended to win. We exchanged a shredded greek statue of a RF with a rugged Greek statue in RF. His acquisition initiated the Mukaki rebuild, his veteran lairdership saw us through the dark times and delivered us to the playoffs. We’re floundering in the post-Neck era. The solution? Bring him back—in the dugout. It’s time to reboot the rebuild. There’s a saying in Rome: follow a fat pope with a skinny pope. Replace the easygoing players’ manager with the intense clubhouse cop. I can think of no one better than Nicky Kakes. No more selfies. No more crip-walking HR trots. No fun of any kind, in fact. One laser-beam stare from Neck will shut down the fluff and get us back to ABC baseball. Get it done, AA.
In a similar vein, we could bring back another club legend, a name that rings out in the annals of Braves history. A fiery competitor, this hero commands respect from teammates and opponents alike. He’s a former catcher—conventional wisdom being that ex-backstops make the best managers. He has a post-season track record, and both all-star and silver slugger cred. He’s a proven leader of men who was willing to put his body on the line to help his team. That’s right, folks, I’m talking about Anthony James Pierzynski.
Ok. There are a couple names on the whiteboard. What else we got?
