GDT 8/1/19: Getting Cereal vs Cincy

nsacpi said:
Do we have anyone who can match up against Amir Garrett?
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I can see it now...

The Braves FO hires SJ24 after he completes his coursework at Eastern Central Kentucky State University, earning his degree in business. AA was particularly impressed by SJ's display of alpha when he answered interview questions with testosterone boosted cliche answers he learned from redneck professors who didn't have any business success so were stuck teaching at a tier 3 university. Phrases like, "scared money doesn't make money", and, "flags fly forever", intimidated AA so much he had no choice but to bring this apex alpha on board...hoping to somehow control his machismo. When he read "son of a former D1 baseball player who was called the best player they ever saw by several local HS coaches", AA knew he had to get this bloodline into the organization.

With this new Brahma bull of a man in the dugout, the Braves begin a series with the Reds. Amir Garrett gets a little mouthy, and starts walking towards the Braves dugout. The entire Braves team fears for their lives, but out steps SJ24. After setting down is $5 spiced latte he just bought from a vending machine, this testosterone filled ball of pudgey pastey white boy without enough athletic ability to play inter-mural frisbee steps out of the dugout to meet Amir head on.

Amir sees the foaming latte coming out of SJ24's nostrils, and senses the bloodlines and testosterone levels of this seemingly squishy bodied millennial. Now suddenly fearing for his life, Amir soils himself and immediately lays on the ground belly up so he can present his vitals to SJ24 in hopes this sign of submissiveness will save him. Luckily for everyone in the ball park and surrounding areas, it works.

With a snort, SJ24 turns around, sits back down in the dugout, and resumes reading his GMAT test prep book. Everyone lets out a huge sigh of relief, Amir changes his pants, and the game continues without further incident. Several women in the stands become pregnant just from seeing this awesome display of manhood.
 
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From the Braves twitter- The #Braves today added RHP Shane Greene, RHP Chris Martin and RHP Mark Melancon to the active roster. To make room the club optioned LHP A.J. Minter, RHP Chad Sobotka and RHP Jeremy Walker to Triple-A Gwinnett.
 
Listening to AA's interview, it occurs to me that both he and our last GM have soprano voices. I guess that explains the lack of testosterone in the Braves management decisions for the past few years?
 
Enscheff said:
I can see it now...

The Braves FO hires SJ24 after he completes his coursework at Eastern Central Kentucky State University, earning his degree in business. AA was particularly impressed by SJ's display of alpha when he answered interview questions with testosterone boosted cliche answers he learned from redneck professors who didn't have any business success so were stuck teaching at a tier 3 university. Phrases like, "scared money doesn't make money", and, "flags fly forever", intimidated AA so much he had no choice but to bring this apex alpha on board...hoping to somehow control his machismo. When he read "son of a former D1 baseball player who was called the best player they ever saw by several local HS coaches", AA knew he had to get this bloodline into the organization.

With this new Brahma bull of a man in the dugout, the Braves begin a series with the Reds. Amir Garrett gets a little mouthy, and starts walking towards the Braves dugout. The entire Braves team fears for their lives, but out steps SJ24. After setting down is $5 spiced latte he just bought from a vending machine, this testosterone filled ball of pudgey pastey white boy without enough athletic ability to play inter-mural frisbee steps out of the dugout to meet Amir head on.

Amir sees the foaming latte coming out of SJ24's nostrils, and senses the bloodlines and testosterone levels of this seemingly squishy bodied millennial. Now suddenly fearing for his life, Amir soils himself and immediately lays on the ground belly up so he can present his vitals to SJ24 in hopes this sign of submissiveness will save him. Luckily for everyone in the ball park and surrounding areas, it works.

With a snort, SJ24 turns around, sits back down in the dugout, and resumes reading his GMAT test prep book. Everyone lets out a huge sigh of relief, Amir changes his pants, and the game continues without further incident. Several women in the stands become pregnant just from seeing this awesome display of manhood.
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You are really mean. Man come on, don't destroy a poster like this. He is just trying, please give him some mercy. I hope I never get on your bad side.

But it is funny as hell. LMAO
 
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