His logic is flawed, as obviously you are not going to find 1 car to last you 40 yrs so you'll have to buy at least 2-3 more cars during this span. But even so, if you're saving 200 bucks a month on a lease, after 5 yrs, I'll own my car outright, and you'll still be rolling 200-250 bucks a month until you die. So it'll even out. Over time. The difference is, my truck will still be worth 5,000 or more after it's 10 yrs old. And I can put that towards a trade in on a new/newer car and make my monthly payments close to the same as your lease payment.0
You're pretty much going to tie with him unless you keep up with this exact plan for 15-20 years. You'll save tens of thousands by saving your money, then buying a vehicle outright that has depreciated by 2/3rds. After that it's just maintenance and that is cheap. Even if the transmission goes out, you would have paid the same amount with just a few months of car payments anyway. You're going to come out ahead no matter what.
The question is, can you.... as a white American, actually save your money and not spend it or finance it? Can you live without having something shiny and new? The answer is probably no because you're already talking about trading in the vehicle you'd have already paid off. Besides why trade it in when you can get a couple more grand by selling it privately?