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Thought you guys might like to see how I'm crushing my new gig. 857690507601788929

Make it Mich Ultra and you've got yourself a cleanup hitter.

Fox Sports has an institutional preference for hiring outspoken and controversial ex-players. Bickering and controversy sells, but they've clearly identified a need to have some sober and restrained analysis from a grounded figure who's not going to bring a lot of ego to the table. I've gotten...

****in Greg Olsen. Hate that guy. Also Corky Miller and fatass Gerald Laird.

5. Brian McCann 4. Javy Lopez 3. Ryan Lavarnway 2. Tyler Flowers 1. Matt Wieters

I can't disclose a name but suffice it to say that I know him very well and see him every day.

FIFY, buddy.

That's right, folks. I'm hurt. Or, to be more precise, I'm "hurt." My "hamstring" is giving me a bit of "trouble." The "doctor" recommended that I play a lot of "golf" to "rehab" it. Am I using these quotes correctly?

I didn't catch your drift.

Who?

I am fine with a scrub like this as my backup as long as he's prepared to spot start 5-6 times a week.

I guess it's come to this. I'm not starting, and none y'all sorryass nerds made a game thread. This board really needs some veteran leadership. 1. Inciarte CF 2. The Other French Guy SS 3. Freddie 1B 4. The Original French Guy LF 5. Muscles Markakis RF 6. Backup C 7. Garcia 3B 8. Johnson 2B 9...

Four inches of blue steel, gentlemen.

I'm not sure why these guys come to me for quotes about losing. I don't know **** about losing. Might as well ask Jeff Francoeur about particle physics or Nick Markakis about hitting home runs.

Thanks for giving me a little extra motivation last night, dickhole. Not that I need it, or anything. You know why Wisler did so good? Because he is scared ****less of me. He is gonna STFU and throw it at the target, because he's on the Awesome Juice Program. AJP, mother****er. Back in the...

Those words really sting, man. People think that just because I'm a highly-paid, elite-level professional athlete and a multimillionaire with perfect skin and hair that a Gainesville coed would permanently disfigure a roommate for—basically an ubermensch—that I don't feel the sting of hurtful...

Hey, I'm highly trained at blocking balls in the dirt. You want me to CATCH it, you have to get it to me on the fly.

Hey, L’il Choppers! It’s AJ. I know I haven’t posted much this spring, but I’ve been really busy getting my work in down in Lake Buena Vista. I know you’re thinking weight room, batting cages, etc., but let me tell you—that **** is already on lockdown. I’m in the best shape of my life, and I...

#8 is clearly some made-up bull****. Skip told me that I was the starter, but Florist was going to get more reps because I was needed in the dugout for strategy and leadership stuff.

***** why you babysittin only two or three shots/let me show you how to turn it up a notch/first you get a swimming pool full of Ultra then you dive in it....