REAL FOOTBALL Thread

I should have known some loser with a username of a hip hop album produced by Kayne West couldnt get into college.
 
NFL Media has produced the incident/investigation report regarding a 2011 incident in a Wal-Mart parking lot that involved Dez Bryant.
This is the incident that has been generating headlines and wild rumors over the last 24 hours. The report says an unknown person called police to explain a black female was "being dragged from one vehicle to another vehicle" by a black male. The vehicle the woman was dragged from was a Mercedes registered to Bryant. When police arrived on the scene, the alleged victim was not there. Soon after, she arrived in a Bentley with Bryant and said she had an argument with a man named Alex Person and that she was not assaulted in any way. The police let everyone go, determining there was no offense. It remains unclear if there is any video of the incident, although most Wal-Marts have security cameras. You can read the full incident report at the link below.
 
NFL Media has produced the incident/investigation report regarding a 2011 incident in a Wal-Mart parking lot that involved Dez Bryant.
This is the incident that has been generating headlines and wild rumors over the last 24 hours. The report says an unknown person called police to explain a black female was "being dragged from one vehicle to another vehicle" by a black male. The vehicle the woman was dragged from was a Mercedes registered to Bryant. When police arrived on the scene, the alleged victim was not there. Soon after, she arrived in a Bentley with Bryant and said she had an argument with a man named Alex Person and that she was not assaulted in any way. The police let everyone go, determining there was no offense. It remains unclear if there is any video of the incident, although most Wal-Marts have security cameras. You can read the full incident report at the link below.

WOW OMG SO DEZ REALLY IS A MONSTER I MEAN...

wait what???
 
Roger Goodell Should Suspend Dez Bryant NOW
BY DREW MAGARY
dez-bryant-roger-goodell-suspension-nfl-football.jpg
Photo: Wesley Hitt/Getty Images
Here is what we know so far: there may possibly be a (CD ROM?) of Dez Bryant at a (WalMart?) engaging in (sex with a pony?) which could be very bad for both his reputation and the reputation of the NFL. And so, given that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has sworn to get on top of (sequestering players in a privatized version of Guantanamo set up by the league?) before law enforcement can (investigate the process properly?), we at GQ believe that Goodell should suspend Dez Bryant Now for (eight?) games for (hurting that poor woman?).

In our opinion, this would send a strong message to the rest of the NFL that (kicking a special needs child in face?) will not be (tolerated unless you're good?), and it will hopefully prevent future players from (conducting an elaborate casino heist?). Furthermore, the NFL should set up a charity called (No Door?) that seeks to address issues of (kicking revolving doors angrily and then breaking them and then fighting with security?) on a national platform. The NFL has the power now to do something about (first degree murder of a chimp?), and Roger Goodell shouldn't drop the ball here. He should (actually track a UPS package this time?) to get to the bottom of this (orphanage arson?).

As for Dez Bryant, the suspension would give him time to think hard about (hijacking a blimp?) ever again. And he shouldn't be reinstated until he has shown proper remorse for (ripping the tag off a mattress?). And if it's found that the Cowboys knew about his (illegal human liver harvesting ring?), Goodell should come down HARD, and put (McGarnigle?) in charge of filing a formal report on the matter, to see if Jerry Jones abetted Bryant in (putting his grass clippings into his neighbors yard?). The team could then forfeit (human rights?) and a sum of (three dollars?), with the money going to (the Human Fund?).

It's the right thing to do. In this day and age, the NFL can't wait for the tape of Dez (flogging a dolphin, literally?) to begin cranking the wheels of (justice?).
 
Roger Goodell Should Suspend Dez Bryant NOW

BY DREW MAGARY

dez-bryant-roger-goodell-suspension-nfl-football.jpg

Photo: Wesley Hitt/Getty Images

Here is what we know so far: there may possibly be a (CD ROM?) of Dez Bryant at a (WalMart?) engaging in (sex with a pony?) which could be very bad for both his reputation and the reputation of the NFL. And so, given that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has sworn to get on top of (sequestering players in a privatized version of Guantanamo set up by the league?) before law enforcement can (investigate the process properly?), we at GQ believe that Goodell should suspend Dez Bryant Now for (eight?) games for (hurting that poor woman?).

In our opinion, this would send a strong message to the rest of the NFL that (kicking a special needs child in face?) will not be (tolerated unless you're good?), and it will hopefully prevent future players from (conducting an elaborate casino heist?). Furthermore, the NFL should set up a charity called (No Door?) that seeks to address issues of (kicking revolving doors angrily and then breaking them and then fighting with security?) on a national platform. The NFL has the power now to do something about (first degree murder of a chimp?), and Roger Goodell shouldn't drop the ball here. He should (actually track a UPS package this time?) to get to the bottom of this (orphanage arson?).

As for Dez Bryant, the suspension would give him time to think hard about (hijacking a blimp?) ever again. And he shouldn't be reinstated until he has shown proper remorse for (ripping the tag off a mattress?). And if it's found that the Cowboys knew about his (illegal human liver harvesting ring?), Goodell should come down HARD, and put (McGarnigle?) in charge of filing a formal report on the matter, to see if Jerry Jones abetted Bryant in (putting his grass clippings into his neighbors yard?). The team could then forfeit (human rights?) and a sum of (three dollars?), with the money going to (the Human Fund?).

It's the right thing to do. In this day and age, the NFL can't wait for the tape of Dez (flogging a dolphin, literally?) to begin cranking the wheels of (justice?).

I enjoy Drew's writing, but that isn't one of his best.
 
"I'M SUPERIOR TO YOU BECAUSE THE TEAM I HAVE CHOSEN TO ROOT FOR PERFORMED BETTER THAN THE TEAM YOU CHOSE TO ROOT FOR THIS PAST SEASON!!!!!"

hm who's quote is that?
how bout "I'M SUPERIOR TO YOU BECAUSE THE TEAM I HAVE CHOSEN TO ROOT FOR MIGHT HAVE LESS PEOPLE WITH "CHARACTER ISSUES" THAN THE ONE YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO ROOT FOR."
 
Falcons cut HD... Should land somwhere like GB or Chicago and have decent value

Four cuts and Atl has put 11.7 mill toward TE cap space they already had.
 
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