It seems to me there is quid pro quo (or the potential for quid pro quo) at many levels. Financial. Policy on Ukraine. Sanctions relief. Coordination of efforts to defeat Hillary. Not of it is cut and dried yet. And all of this might yet turn out to be "innocent." But I think there is enough to warrant the expenditure of significant investigative resources.
It's funny, I think most of the things you noted are, at the very least, plausible. It's when you list them all together that I find them borderline farcical.
It only took 2 years because Trumps and his goons kept lying and obstructing the investigation. If they were forthcoming it could have been wrapped up in 3 months if he was innocent. A Presedential candidate asked and received help from Russia and successfully managed fo obstruct the investigation because he was President...and you are just totally fine with that......
The only thing yet to know is to what degree is OO Russia's puppet President. He seems to be a very willing asset.
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We still don't know the depths of corruption with the Obama regime.