WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Putting a damper on Monday’s Inauguration festivities, Vivek Ramaswamy became the first casualty in what political observers are calling the survival of the ****tiest.
As the first passenger to be ejected from Donald J. Trump’s clown Cybertruck, Ramaswamy was required to relinquish his parking pass, security badge, and Trump Bible.
Speaking to reporters, Elon Musk put the best face on Ramaswamy’s abrupt departure from the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), asserting, “DOGE’s mission is to cut waste, and at the end of the day, no one was a bigger waste than Vivek.”