THE BOROWITZ REPORT
Effort to Control Uteri Led By Men With Small Peni
APR 05, 2024
FLORIDA (The Borowitz Report)—With abortion rights on the ballot this fall, the fight to control the state’s 11 million uteri is being helmed by a vocal coalition of men with small peni.
Harland Dorrinson, an organizer of the coalition, said that he formed the group because “men like us are tired of being invisible.”
His group’s volunteers have been fanning out across the state with the goal of recruiting like-penised men, he said.
“The good news is, there is no shortage of men with small peni in Florida,” he said. “We’ve had a lot of luck at gun shows.”
In addition to defeating the abortion rights measure, the tiny-membered men hope to increase turnout for the indicted businessman Donald J. Trump. “He’s one of us,” he said.